just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think i have two assholes
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
