you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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