We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
