TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
