Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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