I heard we made out
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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