I faked an abortion last night.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
