My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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