the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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