I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
