Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish they made helmets for livers.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
