I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
