I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
As shirtless as possible
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
