Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we're so committed to being not committed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
