So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
