Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
