So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize