im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize