just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
