I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
