for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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