never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
