Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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