saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
did i walk over a car last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
