Banned from zoo.
Again?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
