Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
