you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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