ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
