hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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