Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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