My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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