the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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