obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
