He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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