Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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