...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
