using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried