Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know