Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout