He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
