in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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