I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This is the high leading the old right now
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
