dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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