Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
