my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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