i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.