She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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