I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
