we made out on top of his cat.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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