Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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