Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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