marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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