He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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