oh god the rape fog is back!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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