you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
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In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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