apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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