please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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