READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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