considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
