I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
