i just had sex bonerless
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
