Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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