I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if i died would you start the facebook group?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize