Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
