you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
