you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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