someone get that fucking seahorse.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
either way he was missing a nipple.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
